picking up

I've notices that today is the third day I am actually dwelling in dullness mode.

the end !!! after third day, everything should be build up and picking it up slowly.

compose my mood, come near and confess, then bear the lesson and move on...

I wanna be happy before I get some good rest tonight.

although tonight really miss my phone after just now accompany my friend went to a mobile shop and really sick seeing the ex ex phone !!" happened"it was the past, but the painful lesson craved in my heart like an ache.

own declaration !!!

all the small thing,

I must take true care and fully responsibility

I noticed seriously once I don't care about small little thing

I will not be faithful in doing great thing.

seriously illness I got

" You've lost it because you don't treasured it "

conclusion.

that's what my friend and the funny polis had taught me.

precious phone lost

These few days seriously having a really hard time, no matter struggling with myself or under hard circumstances ....just simply haih and today another very very bad day

Today I've just lost my lovely phone seriously .....

of course I am so sad ... I just bought less than a month and I planned to use for another 5 years

and this phone really meant a lot a lot for me ........seriously.

and I've lost this phone which dissappointed my mom once again

that I am not being thoughtful and take good care of the things that she given to me

do you know my mum given me a better handphone instead she is using a very very old one.

the message where my mom just send last night, my 5 years contact list ....

And surprising after all the analysis..there is no careless mistakes ..

not that I lost it ......... But suspended someone in the class stolen it ...........

who will do this to me ............. I seriously haih .................

I am not ok at all ............ totally devastating ...........

hard to make a climb at the first place

dare not make any promises anymore.Unsure of the time that I would let someone down again and again. I think I haven’t forgive myself for I've done. Now and then I discover that I am a person very hard to make a move,I hesitate everytime, i stumble before I take a move. seriously just don't know why I am not a person who I used to be. I am afraid of commitment and giving promises......not because of others but I have no faith onto myself............ I would just fear and fred ........I am fear of taking any risk and keep thinking that what if I failed again and what left it's just hurt and broken heart ? do I have the courage to pick up my own shattered heart again?

..........................................................................................................................

just took a long warm bath ..............

.......... At least try to recompose myself while taking the extra minutes of warmness inside ........warmth the coldness of heart

haih ....................look at the mirror suddenly I felt that I don't recognize the person inside

what should she do now .........

What else she could do to fix everything at least for this moment ............

Should she just give up on herself, "let her be that way, BTW she never ever learn "

or make it a better ? Like what she always wanted to do ... but everytime stumble again and again

Does she has the courage or just fred and push it away .......................

would she be fine .........................?

" I don't know "

I don't even know you anymore "

my sickness

Numb seriously

The mess of me ...........

So awful .. awful .....

i felt so insecure , I stumble, I fall. dreadfully awful .........

Once again I felt that I live in my own world again .. Just me.

a tiny, fragile heart ...................................

Everytime, when mistakes happen, it bother others too, I just couldn't fix it on my own.

look at what I'd done, what I'd said, who I am is just a piece of broken wreck......

I failed everyone, everyone.......just keep letting them down again and again ...................

don't know I am totally doleful but the tears just holding in ..........

I am my own affliction

I am my own disease

there ain´t no drugs to make me well

The sickness is myself

seek and save

“I will seek what was lost and bring back what was driven away, bind up the broken and strengthen what was sick" (ezekiel 34:16)

"I seek out My sheep and deliver them from all the places where they were scattered on a cloudy and dark day"(Ezekial 34:15)

everytime when I am lost, I will surely found because of love just touched my heart .......

Someone somewhere

once again ...... i miss that feeling seriously

sometimes I think this is crazy, but maybe is not

wish I could make it better ....look at the same spot I am watching, i just caught my breath in

but seriously I am missing you ......

the art of losing

The art of losing ............

sometimes I fall down, can't get back up

felt like hiding and kept silence is the best way

but we human is like that, we will never see a crash until it head on.....

It's never too late to live like we are dying everyday

Start lookin at hands of the time I've been given

If time is all I got, then I gotta start thinking

If every second counts on a clock that's tickin

do I wanna turn it all around or throw it all away ...

i am allergic to myself

walking in your shoes

Everyone should own a pair of shoes

it bring us to the destination

A beautiful destination

it leads me to explore the journey

miles by miles

steps by steps

figure it

"when you say you gotta do it, just do it !"

never give up. suck it up !

Sometimes you fall before you fly

Sometimes you laugh when you should cry

Go figure

When things got messed up

You wanted to give up

Nothing seemed right but turned out fine

"no need to tell others how much you could do,

just figure it out whatever you need to do

and finish it whole heartedly"

past emotional

after my emotional over

i felt like I need to talk about it

actually these couples of days, I am so upset about the photography thing .....

The photos i took is totally horrible and millions of swearing after you screen it.

Seriously, i can't take this because everything must start from zero using an advanced camera.

seriously, I was so so so upset. totally lose interest. I lose confidence. totally puffff ... like sliding down the mountain.

do you understand the feeling when you got the picture in your mind,you visual before you take

but it turn out it wasn't ............it wasn't what I want .......... it wasn't!!

you have the bloody image in your mind .........but because of the settting and the lightning you just so many thing to take care of..... instead of just like compact cam just angle.

. and photograph it takes the second time it would be nice again. that's what i think, you lose the moment.

can you imagine that I doubted myself so much so much, I blame myself so much so much. feeling like giving up seriously...

Falter

............................... "long sigh " ..........................................

disappointment would just simply break your heart

I am just simply losing faith

just simply apathetic

this used to be one of my favourate photo but now it's totally devastated

The vignette it is just......

no matter what ... It is something wrong .....somehow, someway I don't know

it just doesn't feels "right" or

..........................haih

didn' t I tell you that passion will let you down.

pride will also blindfolded our deficiency.

Sometimes Love comes around

"Love is a word till someone you meet gives it a meaning ...

It means a lifetime with that person "

have you met yours?

If you'd met love ..embrace it

If you haven't found....

patiently awaits love to thrive

If you are not sure ..

Take a look around for love

Forgiven.

Today I really ... in my class seriously for the childishness behavior that they do......

but .....some voice inside told me about:

I am also a mess. An imperfect man. There is no partial-perfect man. Or " I am better than them" this kind of theory.

Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not for people who deserve it.

If they deserve anything it is punishment.

small little thingy ....

make a small steps could make a big steps difference

which totally change our direction where we heading to ....

I think i got so many things to do everyday

include some habits which we don't think there is a problem

or some perspective which we've always hold on to .........

Make a little effort everyday this is called breakthrough your everyday

simplicity tranqullity

now sitting at a coffee house, with my labbie and a mindful peaceful mind

it has been a long time i did not do ....

i'm kinda free for this moment

after seeing a few the tick on the "to-do list" for this week

all the brochure, minutes finally done ...

*sigh* finally .......i really enjoy these moment of tranquil .. calmness of mind.

take a slow pace of breath, reading, sipping coffee .....editing,writing

put on a =)

thinking about life ... slowly observe and reading the life of others ..

I like these feeling ~~~it has been a long time.

" I dreaming of a white christmas ..........................

now I've just noticed christmas is around the corner again"

bad dieeyyyy

awhen you felt something bad gonna happen once you woke up,

it's a bad sign call you not to step out from the house something gonna happen !!!!

here's my bad day, seriously bad...

1. I forgot to bring something which I need to drink every day.

2. bad hair day

3. My student said she want to stop because its nov .. so i'm jobless for now.

5. Had a really salty salty salty salty spagetthi lunch

6. rushing to print my assignment brochure, once step out, heavy rain pour down

7. late to fetch my sis, which make her wait and get mad at me

8. rushing for piano lesson, the tutor cancel it without any consent.

9. no luck for empty parking slot, just park at whatever space

10.went to gurney which I noticed i don't have any small notes after withdraw money, I need to pay for the carpark

11. purposely went down to MPH bought a mag get the small changes and guess what !!!!

I've lost my parking ticket !!!!!! need to pay RM 20 for the 15 mins !!!!

12. don't know what the shite happen to my HP, the memory card can't read the damn data inside.. which I just bought a week ago.

13. go shopping for shoe !!! don't have what i am looking for!

14. Tonight broadband keep disconnecting !!!

so now I am sitting don't do anything, just waiting for the sky to fall down

Do you know the enemy ?

Do you know the enemy ?

look at the mirror ....

is "ME"

"never compete with others, just compete against myself..."

look at what I'd done, what I am doing ...

The only person you should ever compete with is yourself.

“The principle is competing against yourself. It's about self-improvement, about being better than you were the day before.”