attachment

I actually had a sleepless night, keep pondering and wondering.

What if I've just trapped into and lost my freedom instead.

tell you honestly, I am fear of attachment...

fear that i might get lost nowhere where I couldn't find my way back to fly freely.

freedom

I am selfish.. I am.

I do love you, but sorry to say

" I love myself more."

Merry little Christmas

While many people are opening champagne, toasting, parties, best wishes and greetings.
Who would ever noticed a broken hearted secluded at the corner, panting for help... praying for hope.
I've seen Christmas differently this year. I would say the other side of Christmas.
I've seen Tears during Christmas.
This year Christmas had been a long day for me, the most unpleasent one.

"Let your heart be light, because from now on, our troubles will be out of side, Emmanuel"

parents marriage, I am cold, traumatize.
and fear of marriage i just wonder
why God must put adam and eve together to create problems.
I want to be sex and the city women.
She says:"why are you lied to me?"
He says:"I didn't lie I don't want to tell you because I don't want you to worry, trust me I love you. I'll never ever done something to hurt you"
Is lying not a hurt either? once the trust worthy broken you'll never ever gain it back like how we used to be.. it's never ever gain back the trustworthy.

ignited

I might let my emotional to overtake logical

never let the initial fire ignite faded away gradually

never forget to keep your feet on the groud.

Today make my decision more firm that, I shall drop the idea of going for study at this moment.
It's time for me to giving back instead of keep taking what she has been pouring for.
I see needy and I got to do something.
I've seen a tired, helpless soul who begging to take a breath at her age.
I've seen the burden that she has been carrying for years.
She doesn't deserve that to sacrifice for us.
what will tomorrow brings ?
As long I know it's in father's hand.
what will tomorrow brings,
sorrow or hapiness it will always getting better.

credible

" I don't miss you, i miss one who I thought you were"

are you talking to someone you onced love

or are you talking to yourself?

"Both"

A house is not a home

A house is not a home

where there's no one there to hold you tight.

Has been thinking about myself and the family lately.

I never thought that this family norm would be a problem until someone actually trigger me to think further about it and pray about it.

honestly speaking we would demand more from the family, self-seeking.

imagine that everyone in the family is self-seeking.

All the while, I am a self-seeking person in the family. Fight for whatever thing that I thought I deserve in the family instead of giving back.

Is time to kill the selfishness inside.

happening

Happening. Hmmm, try to define "happening".. Is "happening" really define by photos that you'r in?party you went for ?When was the most happening day that you remember? try to find discover some "happening event" in our daily life you would see things much more differently. Every day can be a "happening event". You are the one who create it and make it HAPPEN. A memorable pleasant dinner, for me today, shop around the vintage furniture shop with some friends who also interested in design and decorations.

My next target social network would be finding some people who have the same passion as mine. Since I am back in PG already, I really want to learn more about technical stuff about photography. Okay ! find a clique will be my #1 next year resolution and MAKE IT HAPPEN BABE !

try on your dream

About Persuing Dream, this is what the DJ saying:
"Will you be regretting of those undone dream after ten years?"
about dream is ian't like a fairy, the possibilities of facing with difficulties and unknown.

Doubting and struggling are like the daily challenges.

So try ! who knows what would happen

Just B

.Be In-Standing.

It's not the same

I just have to accept the fact that everyone had grown up in their own way

in different surroudings, location, social group, career, dreams

we are not the same kiddo anymore

All of us own the same old childhood memories but with a different future

I can't be the same old me, neither do you.

dying of old self.

Grow up. THINK.

you and me are not the same old character on stage anymore

restless

Give me some solitude moment please
let me think once...twice.
I shouted today, inside kind of unpeaceful.
I am feeling restless

eering

思念太猖狂 一个冷不妨

一想起你 忙碌的生活变得空荡荡

对心事说谎 把你想到多么的不堪

" I know I shouldn't, but I just did"

dream light

This lighting inspire me to dream

to have dream

dare to dream

dream of creating light.

Who will be the first one that you would turn to when :
you need to share some joy with
you need to show your anger to
you need a prayer
you need to make a decision, and let him to reassure you
the most shittest day ever happen to you
you just had a fight with your family
you have something with this guy and
you need someone to say :"You'r in trouble girl"
you feel unworthy, unloved.
you r so lost and just need someone to say :"It's alright, it will always get better"

my new lesson learn:
To make someone feel important, it's how you appreciate someone.

new direction

it has been a while I didn't upload my photos
Honestly. I was lost for a moment (in photos inspiration)
struggle. doubted. then decided to press pause button.
then start again.
Now I'm in new direction of photograph I guess.

miss you buddy

that familiar face .. I miss you, buddy. I really do.
Don't ask me why I didn't call up
I don't know what to say anymore.
just not like last time anymore.

What you really want.

有时候, 我不敢任性, 因为我顾虑太多.

刚读过Pennny 的文章，感触很深。
她说：“活着，就是要好玩”
她是一位很简单的女生，性格好爽。
“上帝很眷顾认真的女生 ”我特别喜欢这一词。
她做事非常理智， “做什么我都非常清楚”
Penny 一直抱着 “想做什么就去做”的心态行事。
“千万不要去想，我做了这个会不会这么样？敢敢去做！要讲，就去做！”

有时真的很想在任性与顾虑太多找个完美的平衡。

Adore what she believe in herself, this leads me to look inside myself
What my collogues was disccusing just now "EST you are confused about what you what"
yes, I always doubt about what I want, What I need to hold on, I'm indecisive, I fear, then I just let the fire ignites (the sudden passion ) in me faded away.
Honestly speaking, after I came to KL experience my life alone for 3 months. The most I've gained it's I am more clear with who I am and who I going to be.
In this three months, what I got it's more than career path, explore what's that little character inside.
Will I be the same, like who I was once I get back tomy hometown or
I would be a better person which more matured perception and believe.

vulnerable

I am vulnerable.
When you’re tempted, keep your vulnerability in mind
and work out ways to protect yourself.

city side

Looking at the city light. fast pace. fast breath.
Chaos traffic has form it symphony along the road.
city-people come and go, a place that we don't call home

New Direction-Watch humanity

Inspired to take humanity photos that reveal humanity, society, religion.
my new direction
"Passion for photos, compassion for people"

If you think you are not pretty,
you can make your life pretty

longing

I'm longing to step on the sands
I'm longing to go back home
I'm longning to go for a road trip just to take picture.
I'm longing to see you =)

drop. fall.

Drop.

It’s raining

It’s tears

It’s droplets

It just fall

Just fall

Fall

Fall

true colors

letting of how people will look at you
letting go of self-conscious
letting go of pleasing others
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors,
shining thorugh
True colors, are beautiful,
Like a rainbow.

Let it go.

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
i'm scared but I can't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down
i know i've got to let it go and just enjoy the show.
yea I'm just a little bit caught in the middle.

secret garden

Secret Garden
right inside of me
darkest inside.

"Can't remember when I last saw you laughing"

somebody to love

lonesome ? I've asked myself. not really.
just want to feel two hearts pounce for each other again
the excitement of butterfly in the stomach
please make my heart pounce again.
A person that I really crazy deeply in love with.
the right person at the RIGHT TIME.

Home coming

It is always feel so good going home
the journey going home always seem so secured
not that I hate what I am stuck in currently
just different kind of mode and expression
but I like the freedom where I am in my own hometown
familiar places
familiar faces
familiar smile
familiar beach
familiar air breeze
familiar me, myself.
yes I am going home, the place where I belong.

"Every moment in life becomes a vital part that lead us to growth. Minimal moments that create smiles are the ones that make the biggest impacts. A thought, a feeling, words, music, moods. Everything makes a difference. It is our job to decide whether or not the pain and effort is worth those few moments of happiness. Personally i have made the decision that it is. No regrets. Live it and love it."

L.Horta!

fair reality

She eagerly wants to walk out of the comfort zone
She did, She is doing it, she is working it out now
She never expected that she will doubt herself so much.
well, that's her choice.
Once you are in the reality game
left behind the fantasy
It's time for her to steps into reality
bury the castle and all those fairy tale.
It's time to believe in tragic instead of magic.
but what she really wants it's just
"Simplicity"
that's what I want.

"almost everything we do is done poorly when we first start doing it — that's how we learn."

empty me

keep your feet on the ground while your head in the clouds.
Empty me all the selfishness, the poison of my pride
I made myself looks like a fool today.

我太自负了

人最重要脚踏实地.

philisophy of letting go

"To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t about winning or losing. It’s not about pride and it’s not about how you appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind & confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free."

embellishment

有些时候, 他在你生命中出现时, 你会 眼睛一亮,

你会觉得就像火花 般灿烂,

但你冷静之后, 你会觉得这只是生命中小小的点缀.

I'd realized, you are just part of the flame.
It's pretty at that moment
It ignite fast and die fast.
Is not that important after all.

mistakes live

"This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions; this is a time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love... a lot. Major in philosophy, because there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind, and change it again, because nothing's permanent. So, make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask what we want to be, we won't have to guess... we'll know"

what do you do at 20's?

"I make mistakes"

Shooting stars

welcome back, tuesday =)

you'll come back, I'll go off.

timing always making a joke between us.

I've always thinking what if we go back to the time when we first met?

I am pretty sure we'll meet again, not by arranged. Let fake and God to decide.

at the right time, the right person meeting the person that I've miss the most.

that's my wish.

lost in between

one moment of happiness, one moment of sadness.

The sea always given me tranquil.

I don't know anymore.

will the storm hunt me ?

I am not sure.

where do I stand ?

on the sand.

Am I sinking?

I don't know.

Comfort food

The ice cream.

this is a magical food. A comfort food

which comfort my emotional.

I've been taking these for 3 days.

Thanks ice cream.

i'll be there.

nice meeting you, Mr.M.

you are one of the person that I highly respected the most.

thanks Kumon.

thanks for all those encouraging words and best wishes

without saying out the whine, i seriously need those supports.

i'm thankful

=)

not going anywhere. am I good. not i'm not

.i am overwhelmed.

take a bath from head to toes

everything gotta be alright.

without any whine.

i thought after sending resume and interview everything should be ok

OMG OMG OMG I HAVE TO WRITE AN ESSAY BEFORE INTERNS.

they said gotta access on the way I think and the way I write.

I am scared that I can't do it well. I just feels like i might not do well like how Ivan and Jeffrey.

shite, the incompetence is beating me up.

I am furious, scared and frightened.

the first impression is the most imp, and now it's through writing

what can I do ?

I have to be positive and say

: " rock it babe, complete it and strike it "

railway never stops the view

my thought never ever stop

many thought would cross my mind

perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

it's all on track.

All I want it's just go to place

where it's long long way

it is far far away.

"trains move quickly to their journey's end

destinations are where we begin again"

i was lost. I am lost.

tell me where it's hurt and where to put it together and make it better.

those night, i was sitting there, starring at the star and write.

"everything gotta be so fine"

"whenever I am weak, I am strong then"

" Life a bieach, I'm the bieach"

uninvited guest.

she is a friend who at the entrance of my world .. that's what she said.
She is a friend who know about friendship,

she thought me about friendship,

When she is angry with me, she said:

" I don't know what estee thinking about, I am confused"

She says I am a person who does not give in easily, a person where I never open my heart to anyone easily. true ........

However, she said she took two years to know the true me. after spending lots of time together, all the cold war, argument, laughter, embrace.

well, after two years. she walks in. Everytime she could just be my mind reader, without I saying anything, she helps me to finish it.

she is friend who knows me so well. a friend that I really treasure.

furious

woke up in the morning, feels like oh gosh, after finish exam

i have up coming things to do

I am furious, yes I am furious.

furious about the plan might not go on my way.

好久不见 if we ever meet again.

"If I ever meet love again, I will be brave. "
"如果我再一次遇见爱, 我会勇敢."
=)

Someday-rob thomas

Wake up in the morning, carefully studied every corner of my room.

hmmm... I'm leaving like soon. Exciting yet worrying.

i just can't belief I am moving to KL less than 3 weeks.

A few things to do before going to KL

1. I want to spend time with the small Kid

2. Finish up my design for youth

3. Practice well my piano which exam falls on 16/8

4. Ask consultant for my education. Overseas? KL ? Stop pursuing ?

5. find a comfortable room in KL, that's most imp for me. Find my space.

6. meet with shuling first she'll be leaving to Uk in sep

7. Clubbing with high school friend before I leave.

sitting at the college, same building, different person.

familiar chair, familiar breath. All I could think of it's just when the time when I was here.

everything here seems so yesterday.

think of I'm going for my intern like next months 1 aug. I hate time passes so fast like serioulsy.

Gosh, resume !!!!! room !!!!!!!!

connection

I like the way you looked at me, make me feels special.

however deep inside both of us

we'r not meant to be together.

if one day I give you a hug.

I want to tell you that, that's more than a hug

that's more than friendship

A fondness that never ever made known.

deep inside everyone's heart, whether you are married, or you are with other

but i am sure that, there's someone special inside,

a indescribable feeling stirring inside last for very long time, maybe a lifetime.

the person that doesn't meant to be with me together.

there's connection last a lifetime

我们没有在一起.

uplifting

I can feels the sunshine shone behind my back. it's warming. I like ^^

yea, this is me, that's me. I am unfamiliar who I was for the last couples of days.

I feels uplifting now =)

like Wohooooooooo finally i am back.

bye, pms, bye, emo.

Hi, JUlY

=)

i know the reason why I wasn't happy for the past two weeks.

Pms. like seriously down down down man

now finally phew ....... yeeappeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wonder.

别人都说这女孩是个幸福的小孩, 但是为什么她就是那么的不知足, 不快乐?

you and me. status clear.

That someone special will just makes you smile no matter how bad your days are.

=)

when you feels like giving up,

all you gotta do is just try a little bit harder,

Ｉ　ｂｅｔ　you'll make it through.

waiting is diffiicult

I am surprised in what the horoscope saying about me, why people would trust this kind of thing it's because they find themselves inside. I know I am not suppose to trust but ........... at that moment the words just expressed what I am going to say to you and me and how I feels. that's why I fall yesterday.

I shall just wait.

stillness

clean out the clutter and silence the noise around us and in our soul, and be still

In the midst of problems and everything, it's tough for me to keep calm and cool. This week seriuosly a lot of thought clutter in my mind, problems, solving, what to do, how to do, where to start, what am I suppose to do. Sometimes I do wish like I wake up in the morning, I wish I would be more happier than yesterday, but look, who suppose to decide it.? you or me?

i'm not missing

我不想念

某個人 默默關上 某心房 某扇窗

讓想念的歌不再唱

Like seriously I am not fall back any any more.

It's just feeling so good when you realized finally you have the courage to move on

and I realized not everyone need someone to make yourself complete.

讓想念的歌不再唱

讓想念的歌不再唱

讓想念的歌不再唱

need

"please don't go, I need you"

A lover touch the most needed, to hold on like he need you and you'll never ever let him slipped away

It's secure, safe, place inside the heart.

you feels needed.

被人需要是很幸福的事

=(

I am not happy today

i felt that rushing out early in the morning without setting your own emotional mode kinda bad mood for the whole day.

I just feels that everything just many things running in my head right now. haih

Ambitious ambitious.

"It's not wrong to be ambitious, but it's wrong to be ambitious without knowing the real purpose"

I 'm not a girl, not yet a women

A women who loves God
A woman who knows how to makes decision without being indecisive.

A woman who has an answers to everything

A woman who is persistence and courage.

A woman who is responsible

A woman who know what's the best and give out her very best.

A women who needs a man to fully support her and she could support him like how her dad and mom did.

A woman who is compassion and kindness.

A woman who is thoughtful

A woman who know when to give in and give out

A woman who knows when to tear down and when to lift up again.

A woman who is wild yet gentle.

A woman who walks in faith by grace.

A women who knows how to live.

The most important A women who knows about love, to love and beloved.

I know this girl will always find her way =)

Someday she'll be.