attachment

I actually had a sleepless night, keep pondering and wondering.

What if I've just trapped into and lost my freedom instead.

tell you honestly, I am fear of attachment...

fear that i might get lost nowhere where I couldn't find my way back to fly freely.

freedom

I am selfish.. I am.

I do love you, but sorry to say

" I love myself more."

Merry little Christmas

While many people are opening champagne, toasting, parties, best wishes and greetings.
Who would ever noticed a broken hearted secluded at the corner, panting for help... praying for hope.
I've seen Christmas differently this year. I would say the other side of Christmas.
I've seen Tears during Christmas.
This year Christmas had been a long day for me, the most unpleasent one.

"Let your heart be light, because from now on, our troubles will be out of side, Emmanuel"

parents marriage, I am cold, traumatize.
and fear of marriage i just wonder
why God must put adam and eve together to create problems.
I want to be sex and the city women.
She says:"why are you lied to me?"
He says:"I didn't lie I don't want to tell you because I don't want you to worry, trust me I love you. I'll never ever done something to hurt you"
Is lying not a hurt either? once the trust worthy broken you'll never ever gain it back like how we used to be.. it's never ever gain back the trustworthy.

ignited

I might let my emotional to overtake logical

never let the initial fire ignite faded away gradually

never forget to keep your feet on the groud.

Today make my decision more firm that, I shall drop the idea of going for study at this moment.
It's time for me to giving back instead of keep taking what she has been pouring for.
I see needy and I got to do something.
I've seen a tired, helpless soul who begging to take a breath at her age.
I've seen the burden that she has been carrying for years.
She doesn't deserve that to sacrifice for us.
what will tomorrow brings ?
As long I know it's in father's hand.
what will tomorrow brings,
sorrow or hapiness it will always getting better.

credible

" I don't miss you, i miss one who I thought you were"

are you talking to someone you onced love

or are you talking to yourself?

"Both"

A house is not a home

A house is not a home

where there's no one there to hold you tight.

Has been thinking about myself and the family lately.

I never thought that this family norm would be a problem until someone actually trigger me to think further about it and pray about it.

honestly speaking we would demand more from the family, self-seeking.

imagine that everyone in the family is self-seeking.

All the while, I am a self-seeking person in the family. Fight for whatever thing that I thought I deserve in the family instead of giving back.

Is time to kill the selfishness inside.