hard to make a climb at the first place

dare not make any promises anymore.Unsure of the time that I would let someone down again and again. I think I haven’t forgive myself for I've done. Now and then I discover that I am a person very hard to make a move,I hesitate everytime, i stumble before I take a move. seriously just don't know why I am not a person who I used to be. I am afraid of commitment and giving promises......not because of others but I have no faith onto myself............ I would just fear and fred ........I am fear of taking any risk and keep thinking that what if I failed again and what left it's just hurt and broken heart ? do I have the courage to pick up my own shattered heart again?