shadows

I am worried about I'm busy and miss out something lately

because something inside is giving me warning.

I wonder sometimes busyness will blinded all of us.

we become like a body without a soul

which don't know how to live alive

we don't know what's love life

all we do is just chasing after shadows.

"Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too." (Philippians 2:4, TLB)

Clair de lune.

Uncertainty just flush in my emotional

about how far I could go ..

how much I could reach.

the future ... my own ability.. strength.

I felt that I become so small.

faith become so small.

" Can you see your vision clearly ? "

Clair de lune ... the expression how I feels now.

It's calm yet with inconsistent pounding beat.

figure it

"when you say you gotta do it, just do it !"

never give up. suck it up !

Sometimes you fall before you fly

Sometimes you laugh when you should cry

Go figure

When things got messed up

You wanted to give up

Nothing seemed right but turned out fine

"no need to tell others how much you could do,

just figure it out whatever you need to do

and finish it whole heartedly"

Ownership

antique, classic, vintage

I really really like this

when we fond with something

no matter is object or people

doesn't mean that we have to own it ....

I am still learning this philosophy which I just thought of ...........

which since i was young .. My mum she is really kind that everytime when we struggling with choosing item and ask for her opinion , she would answer us" buy it if you like it " so have two different effect : as for my elder sister would buy things that she really really really love that object no matter how much it cost and she won't regret after that and as for me I will buy according to my emotion, maybe at that point of time I really like it without any hesitation I would just buy,,,,However when that object belong to me , become mine.... find that :" nothing so great anymore, so what's next?? " ......... haih ... seriously I find that I was so bad and so spoilt, gotta change. I think this philosophy of life applicable when we facing various choices and struggling with making decision. we kill, sweat, tears to get something that we want ... so what ????????? does it really satisfied you, or it make you a more greedy person that ask for more .......

current status: fatigue, tiring

word for the day: OVERCOME

unstoppable genre: JAZZY ..

immortal

desire ........ is just like a flower, it have thorn we might hurt ourselves.

after all the fulfillment.. the flower dying... are desires all you ever wanted ??

nothing is immortal ......... beauty, desires, fulfillment ..........it never last .....

Frustration, exclusive workload, pressure it could make me to become a person who did not embrace gratitude for everything, I could say I don't like it .........and I hate myself being like that

when I kept whining, I'll miss some beautiful and glooming moment ....

All i could do it is pray and try to analyze what are those thing get on my nerve so easily and the reason why ..........

I mustn't whine and get ready, get set, and go !!!!

sometimes i don't understand what am I striving for and keep searching .........

to where? .... desires, anger is that important anymore ??

Delight yourself in the LORD

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Pleasure irrelevant with happiness

Model portraiture : Tan Chin Fern

Happiness go nothing to do with pleasure

I felt pleasure when I want something and I get it

I've always discontented ..

today a voice inside me telling me

"pleasure is always relative, Happiness is absolute"

and "Happiness is the UNDERSTANDING And ACCEPTANCE of life at this very moment as COMPLETE AND PERFECT. "

I reflected, all I have is more than enough

what could I ask for more ?

all I want is just a true joyous abundance life

free to be

Hold on what you believe and your principle ...

I am free to be what i want

Sometimes I really wonder should we change for the environment around us just for adaptation and trying hard to fit into .. ..?

I am strongly say "NO" ....now

Everyone are free to be difference .....free to be themselves ..

although I might be as good like others .. I can't be like one ..

I've learned that if I keep comparing or competing .. it would never end ..what it will is just making myself felt awful and losing myself once again ......

My life is not about how people think of me .........

My life is about how much have I done ? what did I do ?

Don't let other frame my life .......

Sometimes I would blame and asking myself, why it is so hard for me to cope with the person which have totally opposite of me. Or the people which makes me wonder how could they be like that ..............

I found a new way ............

Be thoughtful and understanding ...........

Forgive and Hold On ......................................

I am asking God let me to be more understanding and thoughtful ..

I define me

" As you grow older, every choice that you've make defines who you're gonna turn into;

Look at yourself and ask if you like this person you're becoming "

human nature

every one knows that the true beauty of course come from the heart
but as human nature, we like beautiful things,
we want to look good, we do feels like walking beyond the ground
that why we need to perks up ourselves always look good,
clothes with trend that suit us the most,
standing in front of mirror looking at the same face every day
there is no right or wrong we pursuit for "good things"
but sometimes, isn't I care too much of these thing
and neglected some really important things in my life.
the priority in my life has been twisted without I knowing it.
I think sometimes I do care too much
isn't my confidence is just come from how I look ??
i agreed is just part of it .. yes, I have to clothes ourselves well
but don't be too obsessed i look, and causing me forget how to clothes my heart and soul
with a the brand call- CHARACTER Inside

" therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink,
or about your body, what you will wear.
is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
seek first his kingdom and he righteousness..."
(matthew 6:28)

what if I am in bad-day

What if I was in that circumstances which others have been through right now
in a circumstances which are poor, desperately need help, never heard gospel before, no love in me, what if i can't feel love, have no true friends, do not have a family which stand by me always, isolate in loneliness, suffering in illness .......................
would I able to cope with it ......???


I know there would be the day I would know and understand, walk through and experiences ...
I wonder .....what if in my lifetime I have to been through a lot of thorns road
.how my lifetime would be.....
I know some hard circumstance is a life progress ....
till one day, I still have to walk pass the thorn in life ...
i just wonder how would I respond and face that "bad" day will happen to me ..
what if my life in really thorn circumstances, harsh circumst
would my life still be happy like now .. or I would be happier in hard circumstances
would my life would be in dull or full of colours
would the day be the bad day or contrast it would be a day full of joy
I really want to know the answer ....
i only have to answer to myself when the day I shut my eyes ....
i am looking forward
would I be the flower still gloom among the thorns ...
grow absolutely beautifully in the bushed and thorns
or would be the flower which dying with the grass
which would stepped by others
and being thrown and burn with the dying grass ..dreadfully ..hopeless

Self-centered is an obstacle

When some incident just interrupt in your plan or
some unexpected plan just interrupt your time ..
again procrastinate your day .. your hectic schedule
I shouted so hard and loud in the car today .."ARGH "
the Frustration and impatient ...felt so guilty ..
yea .. that's me ..
sometimes we'll have some incident that just across your day
interrupt in my day ...I just lose control ...
and plus ...I still can't change from being last minute
and never get my things done at once ..
I doubt I am not that great in my own expectation
stuff will started to lose
the reason why will make me a procrastinator i think is because my arrogant ..
my own self-centered .. i think ok I am good enough .. I never learn
I'm not humble .. I would think that everything would be so fine and smooth ..
without preparation or devote myself whole-heartedly ..
I think every thing will be ok .. because " I could cope with it " because I said so
everything I I I .. what thing so great about my self ..
now I realize I'm weak.... I still have to start from the basic .. beginning ..
not looking myself so damn important .. and "BIG " is the word
"ok be patient Est, put down the "I" in my life .. and started to accept the cruelty of life,
you have to toil and hard work for harvest and crops"

Watch your step

these few day I've stepped Back

The main reason I started to step backward, I think the main reason WAS
because I started to see myself in others eye ..
the thing I scare the most is this feeling
Step backward .... holding back

now
when human in trouble, I think the only refuge is the God and the people surrounding
friends ..
They always care how I feel, How's my mood each day .. i felt grateful
after today cell group, and a accident gathering fellowship ..
I felt so much better .. so much ..
so now ... I hope whenever I started to step backward in life ..
I hope again someone just hold on me ...push me forward ...
through the people around me ...
I want to say the people around me are the angel from God
so don't need to look for the angel .. because they are always around us
everyone around us are angel, black one, the who likes to nag, who care for me, who always call me to love myself more, who always help me, who give me a smile, who encourage me
Although they might not be the perfect angel, but look at myself ..neither do I ..
because I am imperfect, but the special, unique in them, the thing I don't have in me .. just you
is what I admire the most ...so no need to pretend like someone else ..because everything in us are already beautiful .. I like who they are ..God like who I am .. God like who you are.
We can't see where is HIM ..but he already there prepare for us .. everything
Everyone .. Because HE loves every one
So
STEP FORWARD ..LOOK FORWARD ..
I don't want to see myself from others eye again ...
I want to take a BIG STEP and never look back ..

"I was holding back

Now I've come undone

Clearly it's time to make a change
Or i could keep sitting and waste all day
I know that it's time for me to move
I've been given this minute to use

What we do here is just the beginning
New life is starting at every ending
every day could be MINE day "

song of the day -this could be our day (Addison Road)

Shittest moment ,.. that's enough

today is the third of emo-ing I am not in the mood to go out .today the sky still dull and I can't feel the warmness of the sun My heart yet still .. dwell in coldness, dreadful no mood .. I am sleepy .. suffering from Insomnia yesterday night finally received a good news " class has been canceled !!". Yohoo ! because I know my condition now is not ok, I can't even smile
just like a skeleton without soul better stay and dying at home ..after two hours nap finally feeling better a bit at least

OK !! I have decided I should be determine that
tomorrow I want to see the sunshine
and melt my heart tomorrow ..
Maximum 3 days ..being not happy ..
That's it !! I'd enough ! I hate this awful feeling !!
I can't dwell in this whole pit of shite-thing again
Today just cry out loud like there's no tomorrow !!
just like the rainy day today ...after a few day with the absence of sunshine .
the sky .. pour out tears
Tomorrow the fourth day ..
I will have to get up and ..
shout out loud
" I WANT TO BE HAPPY !! chase away the dark cloud in me !! "
I want to walk out from the unhappy soul
NO body can lead me astray !

"Lord, help me this person who desperate for joy in my days "