Sloppy

"Never get by with sloppy living.  Sloppy Living. The nature of human it's the sluggishness inside of us. Sluggishness and sloppy living will eaten us slowly and become a habit then become a character. The strength inside of us, the thing that we capable to do and called to do........ Awake. "

"Being"

There's a song in Mandarin the lyrics description like these


"How could we to have a rainbow
How could we to embrace the summer wind
The stars on the skies laughing the people on earth
never getting enough, not contented enough. "

"怎麼去擁有 一道彩虹 ,怎麼去擁抱 一夏天的風,
天上的星星 笑地上的人
 總是不能懂 不能知道足夠."

Contentment ain't about not being ambitious enough to persue the earthly thing. It is about a peace and calmness of being thankful and appreciate the things we already have.

The people who listen, who hold you, who cares about you. The unfailing love that family given. 

I believe

I am just a girl who look strong on the outside, but actually I am vulnerable many people said thats just the mask you wearing to hide something. Yes I admit that, the weakness not to look into my eyes. Now I am pursuing something, at least for now I now what I want it's more to soul and spirit. Only the toughness inside and the training inward make us real strong. For the past I've been out of rule break the rule of love, deeply fall in love once. Just once, broken once, that's enough. I want to find something more this year onwards, it might be to find back the core of my life. I knew that I am not a person who need to worry about the material things, pay bills. I am thankful for that, but I knew who I made to be since I was young, I want to become a career women like my mum. It has been a long time I forgot since when I don't write anymore. Maybe this is the time I've decided to face me, myself. Have the courage slowly discover what I want bit by bit, pieces by pieces. “我要成为外柔内坚的女人。”

Pondering about the thought of leaving and university

We tend to look around the people around us, and started to get really nervous when we are not on the same track as they are. 

I really need faith to strengthen my weakness and the infirmity. 

maybe I  should letting go of the struggle, my doubt, my shaken decision. 

Accept the current circumstances and embrace it...strive for it. 

" He shall strengthen my weakness"

The art of losing

it has been a very long time I wasn't here to write about I, me, Myself. It's not because of busyness but simply I was in the "art of losing" 
I misses here very much which I am using my photo inspiration and words...
here and now.. I have a different insight, start to THINK and start to live. 
this is a story of Estee each and every moment that I treasured no matter neither the journey it's rough or smooth.  By His grace i am free again...I am alive again. 

what's love

Once when i was a little girl, we dreamed about marriage ...
the prince and princess happily ever after story.
in adulthood, the bubbles pops, marriage become so dissenting.
it might sound scary from the bad testimonials of others.
I would say now:

" I believe in marriage... beloved and to be in the love commitment of my lifetime"

what if I say:" love ain't about feelings"

" Love ain't about lust and desires"all of these would fade

Love is a verb

Love is an attitude

Love is a commitment

Love is giving

Agape is Sacrifing love

"I believe in love once again"

Don't become a stranger

we were once young and simple little child get to know each other
primary school, childhood, secondary, high school
we might feel that it's all different after all departure ...
we from good friends become like stranger after so long
is our friendship has become tweak and weak
is that any love language that we could share rather than " what are you doing now? when you graduate? where you work? how was everything? " "please take care"
I feel that shallowness of love and the unconcern to care.
as time flew, i hope we'd change, changed to be a better friend, a friend which we make new memories each and every moments no matter which stage of life we all are.
my dear friend "Don't become a stranger, okay ?"